Early Childhood Origins of Men’s Fears of Women

There is substantial psychological research suggesting that many heterosexual men carry significant fears of their partners in their intimate relationships. These fears are manifested in areas such as fears of being controlled and dominated by women, fears of being entrapped by women, and fears of being inadequate with women.

Research by Dr. James O’Neil and his colleagues has demonstrated that these fears lie at the heart of what he calls Gender Role Conflict, which is correlated with psychological difficulties such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and higher rates of suicide in men. So, understanding the causes of men’s fears of women has significant implications for both the emotional and physical well-being of men.

Our best understanding of how these fears develop comes from a combination of the fields of men’s studies, gender studies, developmental psychology and clinicians who work directly with men. This work emphasizes the fact that most children are raised primarily by women, and human infants are more dependent on their caregivers than are other animals. In the well-known social science experiment, The Still Face Experiment, mothers and infants interact with each other, until the mothers are instructed to have a “still face,” that is to be unresponsive. Within a minute, most of the infants become extremely bereft, some even losing bowel and bladder control. Infants are completely dependent on their mothers for both their physical and emotional survival and well-being, and so they become…