Find Someone Who Wants to be Your Second Priority
The fairytale may not be what you think.
It sounds odd, doesn’t it? To aspire to be a partner’s second priority.
When seeking a mate, we often envision being their everything. We tend to view romantic love as all-consuming, wanting someone who spends all of their free time with us and cares most deeply about our needs. “Someone who puts us first” is an assumed item on the partner wish list.
It sounds good to have someone who’s all about and all over you. To be #1 in someone’s life is generally a coveted experience. Yet, this may be more romantic in theory than in practice when you really think about it.
If you want this level of attention and commitment, a partner will likely expect you to offer it in return. They’ll anticipate occupying the top spot on your list of priorities as well.
However, if they’re number one, then what number are you?
To be a whole partner, you must feel like a whole person. You have to be able to nurture your desires and build a healthy relationship with yourself. You can’t do this if always considering someone else’s feelings above your own. The very expectation is debilitating.
