Getting Closer by Separation
How distance can improve a relationship.
Look at the shoes you’re wearing. Your two shoes go together, they match. No one can say that they don’t. Even if you lose one and leave it behind, they are still a pair of shoes.
Now tie them together, one to the other. Go ahead.
Now try to walk.
You’ll be able to do it. You’ll take short, mincing steps. If you had to walk that way, you could. If you lived in a world where everyone tied their shoes together that way and walked, you might not consider doing it differently. However, I think you’ll agree it’s not the best way to get around.
Go ahead and retie them the way they are supposed to be tied. This is the end of the demonstration.
Now think about your closest relationship. How tightly are you tied together?
Be careful how you answer; it’s tricky. If you say, we’re not tied together at all, she seems to do whatever she wants, that might be just part of the story. What do you do when she seems to do whatever she wants? If you’re still with her, then my guess is that you try to tie her up to you.
Every moment, you want to know where she’s been, what she’s done, and when she’s going to come home. You say you do this because you can’t trust her, but…
