Healing My Relationship to Men
I grew up feeling like a sex object
I grew up feeling like a sex object.
I was harassed constantly.
I cut my hair short to be less attractive and stopped wearing heels — so I could run at a moment’s notice if I had to.
I tried to avoid men and thought perhaps I would only date women. Women were interested in all of me. Men would follow me down the street and make kissy noises or even bark at me.
I got the message day-in, day-out that biology was my destiny and I was just there to look pretty.
I received a PhD in science but the incessant focus on my looks continued.
When I talked to my mother about the harassment, she said I should enjoy it. When I talked to some male friends, they said that’s just how guys are and to relax.
So, in order to avoid the unwanted attention, I rejected my sexual self completely. I pushed away my desire and cut myself off from my femininity.
This was not a healthy way to live.
I loved the life of the mind, but I couldn’t stay cut off from the neck down forever. Eventually, I found myself in a workshop on conscious sexuality. I came face to face with how disconnected I was from my body and…
