How Loving Yourself Means Loving Others
Now I understand — sometimes you just don’t know what kind of battle other people are fighting.
About a month ago I texted one of my aunts in Jakarta. I told her that I was feeling blessed for her existence because if it wasn’t for her support, I would not make it to where I am. Perhaps I would make it elsewhere, but the right now that I have is the perfect present I could receive. So, I thanked her, and I can only smile and felt warm as she told me that I was being sweet.
Just last week, I texted Jonatan and told him out of the blue that he “is an amazing man, and I’m grateful to have crossed paths” with him. In return, he said, “Hey, where did this come from?” And I could not help but smile from ear to ear as he then told me he loves me.
When I used to be insecure about what other people think of me, I shut off my voice and merely keep it to myself. Whether or not it was a compliment to someone else or feedbacks, I was scared to be shooed off, or dismissed, or rejected. Growing up I realize that I won’t go far if I continue acting this way, so I decided to change.
I think it all began when I started putting more love towards myself. It was because I started working out and felt more pumps of confidence running down my bloodstream that I finally understood my worth. Science has proven that working out indeed boosts a lot of things and one of them is confidence!
I started working out because I wanted to be “pretty” until my body actually got stronger and healthier, and that’s when I said, “okay, I’m working out because I want to stay healthy.” Since then onwards, there’s this little child inside me that finally stood her grounds and knows her worth.
Not only working out, loving myself comes in different forms. Sometimes it’s eating Mcdonald’s because I crave junk food, sometimes it’s snoozing an alarm and bailing on a date just because I can, or sometimes it’s by putting on makeup just to look pretty for myself and the world. Right after all these changes that took years to really settle itself into me, I began to speak up more.
Speaking up more made me realize that I have so much power with my words. I could’ve hurt people, I could’ve twisted it, but I know how good it feels when I use it for good. So with speaking up, I use the power to spread genuine and unforced positivity.
It’s by the love that I feel towards myself, I also projected it to those whom I appreciate. Or sometimes to the strangers I saw on the street whose dress looks pretty.
It’s as if the more I embrace my journey, the more I realize that I have so many people keeping me safe and loved, motivating me, and inspiring me to keep on going uphill. Hence with the power of speaking up, I decided to show how much I appreciate them for what they’ve done or reminded them of their own worth.
I decided to do this because during the days where I felt like I’ve lost everything, the same people who pushed me uphill whilst fighting their own battle, reminded me of who I was. They helped me with their kindness and love, their words and actions. So on days where I felt I’m finally enough, I promised myself to give back what I could. And it’s as simple as being good.
Because as a grown-up now I understand, sometimes you just don’t know what kind of battle other people are fighting. But I also understand that just a glimpse of “thank you for being awesome” might give them that extra strength they need to win it.
