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Hello, Love

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How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to My Girlfriend’s Exes?

16 min readMay 17, 2025

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Photo credit: iStock

By Harris O’Malley

Dear Dr. NerdLove:

I’ve been stuck in my own head and I don’t know how to get out.

Until a few years ago, I was significantly overweight. There are all sorts of reasons — unhealthy relationship with food, eating my feelings, convenience — but ultimately it came down to my choosing not to do anything about it. Eventually, I got tired of feeling bad about myself and decided to make changes. I wasn’t aiming to lose a lot of weight, just to feel better about myself and my life, so I hit the gym hard, did my best to eat a healthier diet and ultimately lost around 40 lbs. Between that and putting on some muscle, I was in the best shape of my life. I felt like I’d finally clawed my way to the surface after years underwater, like I finally had control over my life and I felt amazing about myself for the first time ever, really.

That’s around when I met my girlfriend.

She’s smart, a brilliant writer and comedian and gorgeous. We’ve been together for over a year now and I guess you could say it’s getting serious. I could see her

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Hello, Love
Hello, Love
The Good Men Project
The Good Men Project

Written by The Good Men Project

We're having a conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Main site is https://goodmenproject.com Email us info@goodmenproject.com