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How Do Men Stop Being Needed and Start Being Wanted
Women no longer need men. If guys want to find a partner, they must focus on being wanted.
Women no longer need men. If guys want to find a partner, they must focus on being wanted. But they also can’t desperately need women, as this only reverses the dynamic. Instead, we should seek balance and use becoming wanted as an opportunity to grow.
Let’s start with a metaphor
A few years ago I moved to Germany and found that all the amazing cultural and party scene of Berlin has its price. And no, I am not talking about hangovers.
I mean the German Bureaucracy.
Germany’s reputation for being very efficient was obviously earned in times before the Internet. Now, they continue to push papers, send faxes and request piles of physical documents to do anything.
Thus, when I had to register a car, technically I should have been able to do it online. But in practice, the website is so dysfunctional I decided it’s easier to just go to the Registration Office.
The grey concrete Soviet block of a building was depressing enough from the outside. Inside, a Kafkaesque maze of corridors, all painted the same oil magnolia, concrete floors, oppressively bright lights, cheapest, most uncomfortable seats… There, I had to wait. And wait. And wait some more.
You’d think an empty waiting room means no waiting. Wrong.
The clerk who finally saw me made it very clear that I’m a nuisance messing up his busy nose-picking schedule. Nearly 20% of Berlin’s population are immigrants, but he spoke no English. And made no effort to speak slowly and clearly to help my fledging German keep up.
It turned out that I was missing some documents, so I had to get another appointment with another person who seemed to revel in making my life difficult. I didn’t dare complain, because it was clear that if I annoy her, she can make this whole thing infinitely more complicated.
Fortunately, this was it. I got off lightly. But I know this is just a tiny preview of what people applying for visas or benefits go…
