How Narcissists Use the Rule of Reciprocity to Manipulate You
The Rule of Reciprocity (RoR) is a a powerful social norm that says that if someone does something for you, you tend to feel obligated to return the favor.
By Ann Betz
And a few things you can do to protect yourself from this.
The Rule of Reciprocity (RoR) is a a powerful social norm that says that if someone does something for you, you tend to feel obligated to return the favor. It’s a pervasive part of who we are as humans (interestingly, many of our primate cousins actually follow the Rule as well). We manage our social connections by giving and receiving from each other, and it is part of how partnerships, groups, and societies function.
But not everyone uses the Rule of Reciprocity fairly. Scammers, cults, narcissists and other abusers do not feel bound by to follow this rule themselves, although they love to exploit it in others. Here are a few ways they do this:
ONE: Early on in a romantic relationship or friendship, they disclose something about themselves, often of a sensitive or vulnerable nature. Whatever they tell you may or may not be true, but in either case, it is usually done to set you up to play the self-disclosure…
