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How Old is Too Old?
What’s an acceptable age gap in dating?
My partner and I are almost 11 years apart in age. When we met on my 26th birthday, he was the oldest guy I had ever dated.
In the early days, the age difference weighed on me quite a bit. If only he was a couple of years younger, I thought to myself.
I noticed that many of his friends were older and had kids, while none of my closest friends had even gotten married yet. There was also a silly catastrophizing voice in my head that said, he’s probably going to die before you and you’re going to end up alone.
While the age gap did give me initial anxiety, I’m not sure if I can pinpoint it to a logical reason beyond the feeling that the age gap shouldn’t be that large in dating.
The Standard Creepiness Rule
You might have heard of the rule to determine a socially acceptable age difference in partners — half your age plus seven.
My partner was 36 when we met, so 36/2 = 18 and 18 + 7 = 25. I had just turned 26 when we met, so we had just made the cutoff.
The rule’s origin is attributed to a French author named Max O’Rell in his 1901 book titled “Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid,” where it was presented as a formula for a bride’s ideal age…
