How to be Irresistible to Women

Dear Awesome Men:

Here’s something that women want from you that you likely had no idea about…

(Through no fault of your own — we weren’t taught this stuff.)

So, you may have heard the phrases:

“Happy wife, happy life.”

“Don’t rock the boat.”

“Keep her happy.”

And, because you care and want your marriage to go well, you don’t bring up stuff that will upset her.

Maybe you stick to what’s practical, to things that interest both of you, and to bringing that much-needed humor.

You figure that if something is amiss… She’ll bring it up.

Congrats, you’ve succeeded in that (mostly) ‘happy wife’ ideal.

But… Are there things getting swept under the rug?

Are you (and her) quietly hurting?

Are there resentments building?

If those are true, then you’re probably also finding yourself in a situation where the intimacy is starting to dwindle.

So, here’s the secret:

If you want deep intimacy over time (and I don’t just mean sex — I mean the emotional intimacy and depth that men tell me they crave), then… You need to bring it on your end, too.

In fact, she very likely wants you to actively bring up issues in your relationship.

Don’t assume it’s ‘her job’ to keep track of these things.

She wants to know that you’re paying attention, that you care about the quality of your connection outside of sex, and that you have the courage to have uncomfortable conversations.

What this looks like is:

If something feels ‘off’ in your connection, bring it up.

If there is a big conversation you need to have, bring it up.

Don’t ‘assume everything is fine’ — and if not, she’ll bring it up.

And don’t ‘cross your fingers and hope it goes away.’

“But!” you say “what if she gets upset?”

That’s a whole other article, but for right now:

There’s a skill to bringing up challenging things.

Do it with love. Keep your eye on the prize: creating more real connection between the two of you.

You can’t avoid upset in a real relationship. If you do, the connection is only surface-deep and will inevitably lose sizzle.

You can both learn, and you should, to handle difficult emotions. It’s a fantastic skill to model for your kids, too.

Passionate relationships demand we collaborate with each other — not coddle each other.

Learning to live relationally and collaboratively has been one of the deepest empowerments of my own life — instead of the old model of domineering, control, and blaming the other person if you’re not getting what you want.

Today, we are asking more from our relationships than ever before — historically, marriage wasn’t designed for us to stay life-long lovers (for example).

With a loneliness epidemic, and 50% of marriages considered as ‘sexless’, it’s far past time to re-examine our narratives about intimacy and shore up our relational toolkit.

The science of human connection has also made huge advances in the past 20 years.

I invite you to join the growing number of men who walk this Earth dedicated to connection, passion, and depth in their relationship.

For more on how to be irresistible to your woman…

Watch my free class — available here.

Anchor in the 4 essential shifts to make her melt with simple changes you can implement right now.

You’ll wonder why no one told you this 20 years ago!

With love,

Dr. Jessica

xo