How to Deal with Online Insults

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

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Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Hey Wendy,

How do you respond when you let someone know you aren’t interested and they respond with insults?

Selena R.

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Hey Selena,

I don’t.

And you shouldn’t, either.

There seem to be two kinds of responses:

First, there are the “suuuupppp?” or “hi baby” messages. I didn’t respond to the Suuuppp-Babies. These bottomfeeders can be ignored.

But if someone reaches out with something real to say — I mean more than six real words with at least an attempt at grammar, then responding with a quick, kind “no thank you” is appreciated by most daters.

A guy friend of mine wrote to 40 women in a row, and crickets… drove him right off the site, never to date online again.

A kind and friendly “Hey, thanks for writing, but we’re not quite a match. I appreciate you reaching out!” is a good citizen thing to do.

And…

Every once in a while…

Your kind response is met with nonsense like, “You’re ugly and a total loser. Bitch, this is why u r single.”

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Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

Dating, Sex & Relationship Expert and Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster). Over 80,000 women trust Wendy’s advice, tools, & experience. WendySpeaks.com