How to Get More Intimacy (and Sex) in Your Marriage
Intimacy is more than the physical joining of two bodies engaged in sex.
By Lesli Doares
Intimacy is more than the physical joining of two bodies engaged in sex. To quote Matt Hogan, “A complete intimate relationship is the bringing together and melding of two bodies, minds, and spirits into a dance of close personal relations and expression that allows both individuals to express the totality of who they are.”
Real intimacy is scary. Showing up as your authentic self leaves you open to rejection. So, it’s easy to revert to something that feels safer — sex. But sex without connection often feels empty. And, if it’s the only way you engage with your wife, it can be a lot like eating popcorn. Tasty but ultimately not satisfying. Not to mention, it is often off-putting for her.
For those of you in sexless marriages, I hear you when you say you’d rather have a diet of popcorn than nothing. But settling for less than a full meal, and a tasty one at that, is not a recipe for either personal or marital happiness.
Real intimacy is built out of deep connection. Being physical is the way a lot of men open to their emotions. Unfortunately, for a lot of women, it’s the opposite. They need the feeling of emotional safety…
