Hello, Love
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Hello, Love

How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose

Waiting, waiting, waiting for him to pop that question? What can a girl do?

First of all, I have to confess: the title of this article is misleading because this is the harsh truth…

YOU CAN’T!

Let me break it down.

You’re in a long-term relationship. Depending on how old you are, this can vary from 2 years to 5 or even 10+ years.

Maybe you met in high-school?

Or University?

Maybe you met at work?

Or through friends?

Or through a dating app? Whatever.

You’ve been with this guy for a while now…possibly living with him and basically acting like you’re married or maybe you’re even common law.

You give hints, maybe browsing wedding dresses on Pinterest, talking about how all your girlfriends are engaged and what their rings look like, or reminding him how all his guy friends are married and even have kids.

Maybe you’ve talked about it with him and he tells you,

“I’m not ready yet. I wanna get my (career, business, school, music, book, etc) in order first.”

So you wait and wait, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for that ring, waiting for that moment. Maybe he’ll do it on our anniversary? Valentine’s day?

After a while, you start to resent him, possibly picking fights because he’s not giving you what you want.

And these little fights push him away even further, making him afraid to propose to you. He's thinking,

“Is this how it’s going to be like forever with this crazy chick?”

Chicken and egg.

In 2013, I ended an 8-year long relationship because I wanted to get married and he didn’t. I made a promise to myself that the next serious boyfriend I got, I was down to business. I was straight up about who I am to my husband since day one.

We had been together for about 8 or 9 months and we just got back from France, watching one of my best friends get married.

I sat him down on the couch and I asked him,

“Do you love me?”

He was like,

“Yes, I love you.”

This was the first time he said those words to me. Then I asked him,

“Do you see yourself marrying me?”

He was like,

“Yes.”

And I explained how I was in this for the long run and I am looking to get married. I had already shared with him the reason my ex and I broke up.

So I said to him,

“Within a year, I’d like to be engaged and have a ring on my finger.”

Yes, I gave him an ultimatum.

Even though the last one I gave my ex didn’t work, and my heart was broken, it healed and became much stronger.

I knew that if he didn’t follow-through, I was strong enough to find someone else who would meet what I needed, wanted and deserved in a relationship.

He proposed 10 months later.

So, ladies, I implore you, if you’ve been waiting for him to pop that damn question and it’s just not happening? Give him an ultimatum.

The dudes watching this are probably hating me because no one likes being forced to choose.

But this is the blunt, honest truth…

Ladies, I promise you, you will be happier in the long-run. If he chooses you, you will get what you want. If he doesn’t choose you, you will absolutely find someone who will. I did.

Gentlemen, do you love her? Then propose. If deep down inside you don’t love her? Use this ultimatum as an excuse to leave.

Both of you will be happier in the long-run and you’ll find someone who you really love.

Last truth…for any couples out there right now who are thinking,

“Oh we need to fix this problem or that issue before we get married”

I need you to STOP.

To go from “being in a relationship” to “being married” doesn’t change those problems. Those problems will always be there and you have to work on them every day to keep your marriage alive.

Plus, if this issue is big enough that it prevents you from getting married…

You shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.

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Katharine Chan

Katharine Chan

Sum (心, ♡) on Sleeve | Author. Speaker. Wife. Mom of 2 | Embrace Culture. Love Yourself. Improve Relationships | sumonsleeve.com/books