How to Know if You’ve Dumped All Your Relationship Baggage
Have I healed enough to be in something good now?
For anyone who is on the path of healing from past relationship trauma and integrating their shadow, at some point one will ask the question, “Have I healed enough to be in something good now?”
Like anything in life, you want to know how much and how well you’ve progressed. But it is important to remember that as much as the relationship is the goal, the more immediate goal is a better relationship with yourself. Everything else stems from that.
Are you less anxious? Are you less desperate for a relationship? Are you less reactive and better able to regulate your emotions? Do you know why you want a relationship? Is it a fear-based reason or a love-based one or a mixture of both?
Do you still rely on coping strategies to self-soothe or are you comfortable being single? If you are still self-soothing, be honest about why. That could be a huge breakthrough as to what is keeping you stuck in the same position.
Leading people on, daydreaming, masturbation, distracting yourself with work are just a few ways we try to hold it together but why not let yourself fall apart (at least to some extent)? After all, it isn’t really you that’s falling apart. It’s the ego and…
