How To Respond to Your Emotional Spouse Without Making Things Worse
Trying to correct someone else’s emotions is a recipe for destroying your relationship with them.
By Matthew Fray
More often than not, when my wife reacted emotionally to anything — something I said or did; something on TV; something that happened at work, whatever — my gut reaction was to think of her response as an overreaction.
This was not me intentionally trying to demean or disrespect her. This was my honest, natural, and I believed — objective — reaction to whatever she was saying or doing that I perceived to be disproportionate to whatever triggered the emotional response.
I was using commonplace, relationship-killing invalidation methods, but I wasn’t doing so maliciously. Never.
I don’t like injustice. So if my wife told me a story about how a co-worker or client had upset her earlier in the day, and I agreed with the offending co-worker or client, I would say so. I was sharing my honest opinions and feelings, and believed that happy, healthy marriages were built on such things.
When my wife would act pissy because I wasn’t taking her side, I was once again appalled by the notion that my wife would rather me dishonestly side with…
