How to Stop Being Manipulated In Your Relationships
Your mental well-being deserves much better than that.
If you're not yet a member, click here to read this article for free.
Some people are bloodsuckers trying to take away your very essence when you are dating them — and they think they have the right to.
They will do and say anything just so you'll do everything they ask of you. They'll do it in the name of love — whatever that means to them. You being the kind soul that you are might believe them because you love them. Because you can't see them for what they are.
You must learn to see and stop the strings they are pulling to control and manipulate you. That's the only way to set yourself free.
Let's Understand What Manipulation Means
In its most basic form, manipulation in the context of romantic relationships is when a partner or both partners use sneaky and shady tricks to get the other partner to do what they want. They can use guilt, pressure, gaslighting, or even threats to get what they want.
To them, the relationship is just a game that has to be won. It is truly despicable and shows a lack of emotional maturity.
Can You Change Them?
“You can’t control the behavior of a manipulative partner, but you can control how much you tolerate.” — Darlene Lancer
I mean you can try but it might be futile. I have a female friend of mine who has been in a toxic and abusive relationship with a guy for over three years now. When I ask her why she hasn't left him, she says she believes she can change him.
I do believe people can change — but you need to know when to back out for your own mental and emotional well-being when they don't. Three years is way too long a time to torture yourself for.
Power Dynamics In Manipulative Relationships
Remember how I said relationships are simply a game to be won by manipulative partners?
Well, it's not just a game. It's also a means for them to stroke their egos by putting themselves above you. To them, you are nothing but their minion.
You are not their minion.
If you notice your partner is always treating every conversation and experience like a game they have to win, you know they are just trying to gain power over you in the relationship.
So How Can You Stop Being Manipulated?
One method I swear by that chases away manipulative partners is setting boundaries. What you are willing to tolerate or not tolerate should be clear and you should never let them cross that line.
“Our boundaries define our personal space — and we need to be sovereign there in order to be able to step into our full power and potential.” — Brené Brown
Boundaries are in my opinion the biggest and strongest weapons you can have against manipulation. They not only let you spot when someone is trying to cross them. They also prevent them from passing — like a firewall.
I believe the vast majority of romantic manipulators are aware of their actions and the effect it has
In the tiny off chance that a manipulative partner is not aware that they are being manipulative, then communication is key. Sit down with them and tell them about what they are doing and the damage it is inflicting on you and the relationship.
Boundaries and effective communication are the bedrock of every healthy relationship.
Know When To Leave
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is give up.
When you've tried everything you're willing to do to make the relationship work and they remain manipulative, just dump them. They are not your responsibility anymore.
Don't spend three years or anything near that long trying to change them. Chances are they won't and you'd be robbing yourself of the opportunity to find more healthy relationships. It's sad, but it's true.
When your gut tells you they are no longer worth your time, exit the toxic relationship and never look back. You won't regret it, I promise you.
I wish you the best. Manipulative partners are exhausting and painful and I pray you find a way to overcome them effectively. Thanks for reading!
