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How Trust and Vulnerability Can Lead to Intimacy
If he or she lets you down, it may just be a failure in competence — sometimes people simply make a mistake.
Being able to trust your partner is the bedrock of an amazing relationship and couples who are are able to achieve secure attachment and stay emotionally connected can risk being vulnerable. As a result, they enjoy sensuality and passion that goes along with intimacy.
For instance, Julia and Rick sought couples’ therapy because they were both in their second marriage and they were struggling with trust issues. Falling in love and getting remarried can be invigorating but can be scary at the same time.
Julia put it like this, “It took a lot for me to trust Rick because my first marriage was so dysfunctional and he betrayed me by having an affair with someone in our friend group. But over time, with the help of our therapist we are building trust and I feel safe with him.
Rick reflects, “When I’ve had a tough day at work and can look forward to spending time with Julia unwinding at the end of the day, it lowers my stress level. I used to feel that we were missing the mark, but lately we’re more in tune with each other’s day. I tell Julia to let me know when she wants me to grab take-out on the way home so we can have more time to relax.”
Couples who have the most successful second marriages know that cultivating intimacy involves allowing themselves to be vulnerable and trusting of one another. All relationships have tension at times, but it is important for partners to use that tension to become more emotionally connected, physically affectionate, and to achieve a mutually satisfying marriage.
Happy couples are able to identify whether their trust issues stem from their present relationship or are emotional baggage from past betrayals. If you understand your own history, and strive to understand your partner’s past, you can stop repeating toxic patterns. It is possible to deal effectively with ghosts from the past by extending trust to each other through words and actions that are consistent with a loving second marriage.
