I Helped My Friend Cheat on His Girlfriend. What Should I Do?

When a friend’s bad choices drag you into betrayal, here’s how to handle guilt, boundaries, and next steps.

Photo credit: iStock

By Harris O’Malley

Dear Dr. NerdLove, I have a question that’s not really about my relationship but about one I’ve been dragged into.

I work in a medium-to-small-sized department of a large corporation. Because we have a certain level of independence and separation from the rest of the company, we have our own culture of sorts — we’re not all close friends or know the intimate details of each other’s lives outside of the office or anything, but a lot of us are friendly and hang out together outside of work. I mention this because it will be relevant in a moment.

Recently, “James” was transferred to our department from another one. James is one of those guys who comes off a little cocky, a little too aggressively “cool” in some ways but otherwise seems like a decent guy — always friendly, supportive, a good worker and so on. He’s more social and more outgoing than a lot of my co-workers, so he can feel like a lot to most of the department — except for me. I was glad to have someone else to take the role of designated “department extrovert”, as well as potentially someone who wouldn’t head…