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I Loved an Avoidant for 7 Years — Here are Their 7 Core Fears
They inflict on you the same pain they're trying to avoid.
(Note: This article is an excerpt from my new book How to Love or Leave Your Avoidant Partner Without Breaking Your Heart).
Almost everybody knows that avoidants are terrified of intimacy, vulnerability, closeness, and commitment. Heck, avoidants themselves will tell you, probably straight away, that they’re scared of these things.
And even if they don’t, you will start noticing it after a while.
However, in my experience dating an avoidant who is working on herself (and after a lot of research), avoidants have deeper wounds that make them act in the ways they do.
To be more precise, 5 fears make avoidants unable to commit, scared of vulnerability, and terrified of closeness.
Here they are:
- Abandonment.
- Dependence.
- Criticism.
- Rejection.
- Expectations.
We’ll cover them in detail in this article.
Fear #1: Abandonment.
All insecure attachment styles have a crippling fear of abandonment. In my opinion, it…