I Was Almost Tricked Into Marrying a Man I Had Never Met
Lesson learned: Don’t talk to strangers. Especially don’t marry them.
I began receiving strange friend requests from several men from various western Asian countries: Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, etc. I was never one to accept friend requests from individuals I had never met. However, at the time, I was serving a full-time Christian mission for my church. The individuals I was receiving friend requests were supposedly interested in gospel messages, so I thought it would be okay to begin to chat with them.
It wasn’t long before many of them began flattering me with sweet comments… Then the packages started coming. I received teddy bears, jewelry, dresses, you name it. Some even sent money. At the time, it was entirely inappropriate for me to engage in romantic relations, nor was I particularly interested. So I didn’t.
When the time came that I finished my church service, there was one young man in particular that pursued me more aggressively. He was from Lahore, Pakistan. I have always been incredibly intrigued by the world around me, especially its people. I knew very little of the country and loved what I learned from him.
Chat conversations quickly grew flirty and romantic. He was friendly, even charming maybe, and I guess I thought that I liked him. I mean, who doesn’t love attention?
Looking back now, it’s clear that I never liked him. I was too nice and naive to ever say no. It wasn’t in my nature to cut things off; I felt too bad. If anything, the rich history of his city enamored me. But he didn’t.
What I can also see now is the immense pressure that he put on me to not only accept his “love”, but to marry him.
“Have you gotten your passport yet?”
Day after day, I would receive the same question. During the time I was in college, and was having a blast balancing my life between my studies, work, and friends. Amidst all of the chaos in my young adult life, the man from Pakistan was also trying to convince me to meet him in Dubai.
Dubai. How dreamy.
I had always wanted to travel, and the opportunity to fly to a luxurious desert city sounded incredible. Googling all of the fun excursions only made me fall further in love with the idea. I mean, come on. We’re talking the visiting the Burj Khalifa, going camel riding, and of course, touring historic market places.
As I began planning and telling a few close friends, I began receiving concerning comments. Have you met him? Are you sure about this? Are you really traveling alone?
I had always felt uneasy with the situation, but the moment I began resisting, the blackmail began coming.
The once kind young man quickly revealed a dark side. He threatened and manipulated me. He would tell me terrible things to gain my pity or have me worried-sick. He would threaten me with his suicide if I didn’t tell him that I loved him. I was terrified and felt unable to escape.
It took several weeks before I snapped to my senses. I began expressing my concerns to some friends. I regret not having done so sooner. What can I say? I was 100% embarrassed by the whole situation. I was embarrassed by my naivety and that I had gotten myself into a stupid and ugly situation. But thank goodness for girlfriends who can talk some sense into you and save you when you’re drowning. There’s nothing like ’em.
I blocked him permanently on all of my social media and left the mess completely behind. I began dating people in real life. There were plenty of cute boys on my college campus that I always felt prohibited from talking to because of the young man from Pakistan who forbade it. How silly, right? That I was trapped by a man who shouldn’t have had any power over me. It still makes me a little sick that the whole fiasco happened. But I’m better now because of it.
Basic life lesson learned: don’t talk to strangers. Especially don’t marry them.
