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Love changes us. Love makes us human.

I Was Fighting for My Marriage

Why you should never use this phrase.

3 min readApr 22, 2022

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Photo by Monica Silva on Unsplash

I met a guy who was a personal trainer turned nursing student. He beat cancer and had an interesting theory. He felt people misused the term ‘fight’ when battling illness.

He believed this to be counterproductive. He thought it worked the body into a negative state. He went about his treatment and healing minus this one reference.

His words stuck with me. They were one man’s hypothesis. But they made me rethink aspects of my own life. How we approach the variety of challenges we encounter.

I was fighting for my marriage. A common catchphrase and a noble cause. These are spousal-saving words and uttering them is a societal norm. I embraced this concept. I was in it to win it.

Duking it out for my family.

Right?

One day I was having lunch. “No one has fought harder than you to save their marriage,” says my friend. And there it was. The absurdity of this ideology.

“Fighting for.”

How it becomes the benchmark for a failing marriage. We’re supposed to do it. If not, we’re giving up. But are we? And should we?

By the time this terminology enters a marriage, there’s a fairly universal reality.

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Colleen Sheehy Orme
Colleen Sheehy Orme

Written by Colleen Sheehy Orme

National Relationship Columnist, Journalist & Former Business Columnist. I cover love, life, & relationships— #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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