If You Are Angry, Then Go to Bed
Here’s why the classic ‘Don’t let the sun rise on an argument’ is poor advice.
A few months ago, on a dreary Monday, I woke up feeling extra blah. There’s no other term for that feeling. Those days when everything is a little meh. By afternoon, I had enough of adulting and was ready to slip into my bed.
By evening, something my partner did set me off. It wasn’t a big deal, but I was ready to launch the day’s frustration on him.
A couple of angry texts later, he said he would sleep.
‘You get some sleep too.’ he said. ‘You’ll feel better once you wake up.’
Wait a minute. We weren’t done arguing! Why was he going to sleep when I was still fuming?
‘Fine! If he doesn’t want to sort it out now, I will also go to sleep.’ I thought, ready to get my argument points in order for tomorrow when the conversation would continue.
‘Hey, I’m sorry. Are you still mad at me?’ came his text the next morning.
The anger from last night had disappeared. While lying in bed, with angry thoughts flowing through my head, I had realized he had done nothing wrong. I was taking out my frustration on him. I needed an outlet, and I chose him.
