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I’m an Ugly, Lonely Incel Loser. Now What?

How small changes can lead to a bigger life transformation.

The Good Men Project
Hello, Love
14 min readJan 13, 2025

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Photo credit: iStock

By Harris O’Malley

Dear Dr. NerdLove:

The woman I’m miserable over married the dude I hate the most in the world and nobody cares that I’m miserable and angry that she chose that scumbag over me just because he’s better looking than me. Fuck life.

I’m a depressed miserable shallow incel with misogynistic views. I have extreme envy issues, and I ruminate over rejections, slights, and my envy of men with the women I love I’m depressed over. I wish I wasn’t me. I want to change but I struggle changing. 30 and a morbidly obese virgin but I’m extremely depressed because attractive thin women don’t like me. I’m severely envious of the men who are with the women I’m miserable over. I can’t go to bars because I stare at couples happy while I sulk into my beer, I stay in my room playing Xbox when I’m not working instead of having a life. I don’t have any friends here where I live, they all live in my old home state, and I’m envious of them too because of their wives, I’m glad they’re happy but still sad my life isn’t theirs. I’m more than 100 lbs overweight, only 2/3 done with my bachelors, and still live with my parent. I am an envious loser with ambition but no drive because I feel that if I put in

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The Good Men Project
The Good Men Project

Written by The Good Men Project

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