I’m Too Busy: The Shield for Those Who Want Love But Don’t Know What to Do With It
Is your “too busy” a trauma response?
I’ve decided that “busy” is a trauma response. While some of us just have a personality type prone to multitasking and productivity, constantly juggling the responsibilities in our lives creates quite the shield around us. Some of us are trying to prove our worthiness and earn a sense of love and belonging. Others are simply trying to mask the heavy emotions that would be present if we ever stood still long enough to feel them. Then, there are those doing both.
I was good at doing both. Even as a child, I signed up for one extracurricular after another. I truly had a lot of diverse interests, but part of the appeal was how busy it kept me — too busy to feel all the things I was feeling. Plus, it gave me that sense of earning validation — even if it wasn’t from the people I wanted to earn it from in my life. I collected admiration from teachers and peers and told myself it was enough.
As a single adult who occasionally tiptoes through the world of online dating, it’s easy to see that I’m not the only one who developed this particular survival skill. Many people spell it out in their dating profiles. They’re too busy to date, but they’ll make time for the right person — provided that person…
