It’s My Wedding, Not My Mom’s…

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

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Photo by Al Elmes on Unsplash

Hey Wendy,

I’m 30, and I’m planning my wedding. He and I both grew up in conservative, religious homes. My family is Catholic, and his family is Lutheran. Religion didn’t stick for either of us, and we’re socially progressive; we love our gay friends and support gay marriage.

My mother insists that what’s most important is we get married in the Church because she believes that marriage is a blessed sacrament.

I love my mother, and I don’t wish to hurt her. I also realize that this wedding is not all about me and my fiancé since my parents want to pay for it. I know we just would never spend our money on all of this. How do I handle my overbearing mom?

Tammy W.

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Hey Tammy,

Mazel tov!

Here’s the thing: If you and your folks were on the same page (or even nearby pages in the same book), I’d say negotiate it out and maybe let them host your wedding. But you and your mom are worlds apart on this one. And guess whose wedding it is? Yeah, not hers — she’s probably already had her big church wedding, right?

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Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

Dating, Sex & Relationship Expert and Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster). Over 80,000 women trust Wendy’s advice, tools, & experience. WendySpeaks.com