Keeping the Love Alive: Tips for Long-Term Relationship Bliss
#3 is the simplest to start with. Are you doing it in your relationship?
Being in a long-term relationship is wonderful, but it’s crucial to keep it strong by appreciating and reciprocating love and affection towards your partner. My husband and I have tried to maintain a compounding partnership where we consistently work on showing appreciation for what the other one does in our relationship; the returns of accomplishing this make it through year after year, through hardships and blissful times. Here are some tips on how to truly appreciate your partner and maintain a healthy relationship!
How to Appreciate Your Partner and Maintain a Great Relationship
My partner and I both have different and unique ways that we feel appreciated and loved. For him, it’s fixing meals, keeping a tidy home, and giving him physical love now and then (men love shoulder massages, too; who knew!) And I also love rubs, having someone tidy up when it's been a long and hectic day, and taking care of me when I’m sick. But it took work to understand each other this way. I certainly never thought a big macho man would love shoulder rubs as much as my husband does. But how did I figure out all of these things about my husband?
#1 Active Listening!
It’s all about asking and, more importantly, listening to what they say and then implementing it. Active listening means giving your partner your full attention when they are speaking. So when sounds are leaving their mouth, you internalize these sounds as if they were your own. Remember to ask questions, deep ones that make your partner feel understood, ones that make them feel like, “oh, this person wants to understand me.” That leads to showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. This not only helps you understand your partner better, but it also shows them that you value their opinions and care about their well-being. Ah! The best. And when they do this back to you… heaven.
#2 Quality Time
You got it; the next way to help partners appreciate each other is by making room in our hectic schedules for quality time together. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in work and other obligations. But setting aside quality time with your partner is crucial for maintaining a strong connection for the long haul. Whether it’s a weekly date night or a weekend getaway, prioritize spending quality time together. My husband and I have incorporated the 2–2–2 rule into our marriage for a few years now to assist in scheduling our quality time together, and it has made our lives so much simpler. (It’s all about those systems, people!)
2–2–2 Rule for Systematic and Happy Marriages
If you don’t know what the 2–2–2 rule is, it is every 2 weeks make time for a quality date night; every 2 months, go on a weekend getaway; and every 2 years, go on a long vacation away. There are several ways to change this rule. In fact, we have done 1–3–2 to take off the pressure of scheduling too many weekend getaways in a year (we want to stay close to our kiddo), but we are hoping to have it be 1–1–1 in the next phase of our lives when our kid(s) are a little older. To sum this up, make your quality time systematic and take out the work of scheduling date nights. No one likes to have a minor crisis about what to eat for dinner to then realize that you have let many months go in between getting some alone time with your hubby at a classy restaurant. Oops.
#3 Expressing Gratitude
Another important aspect of showing appreciation is expressing gratitude. This can be as simple as saying thank you for a kind gesture or a job well done (seriously goes a long way), or if you are the romantic type, writing a heartfelt note to express your love and appreciation. Regularly expressing gratitude can improve overall satisfaction and happiness in any relationship. In fact, research shows that communicating and receiving gratitude can activate the brain's reward center, releasing dopamine and serotonin, which are the chemicals that make us feel good and improve our mood.
Important side note…
I want to quickly state that, even if you have never really been good at doing this (any of these things) but especially declaring gratitude, start now. Your spouse or partner will more than likely immediately notice it. Being openly grateful makes anyone feel immensely more at ease and appreciated. So if you have to start somewhere, have it be here — with gratitude. Then you can add the rest if you like.
#4 Being Open and Understanding
It’s also important to remember that a healthy relationship involves compromise and understanding. This means being open to your partner’s needs and desires and finding ways to meet in the middle. For example, if your partner wants to try a new restaurant and you prefer your usual spot, consider compromising by trying the new place and keeping your usual spot as a backup plan. This, of course can be applied to all types of topics from easy things like where to eat dinner to what to do with your finances and beyond.
#5 Keep It Fun and Fabulous!
Finally, don’t forget to have fun together! Laughter and playfulness are essential components of a happy relationship. Whether trying a new hobby together, taking a silly photo, or simply telling jokes, finding ways to have fun and enjoy each other’s company can help maintain a strong connection. My husband and I do this by going on spontaneous adventures in our Lexus 470 on the weekends. Going to new places in a confined space gives us time to chat, laugh, and reminisce about all of the adventures we have had or will have. What is something that you and your SO like to do?
Quick Tips from My Husband and I:
- Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your partner your full attention when they’re speaking and trying to understand their perspective without interrupting. Validate their feelings and show empathy.
- Show affection: Physical touch, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing, can help you feel more connected to your partner and show them that you appreciate them.
- Practice gratitude: Take time to express gratitude for your partner’s positive qualities and actions. This can be as simple as saying “thank you” or writing a note of appreciation.
- Communicate openly and honestly: Be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. This creates a sense of trust and helps you both feel more connected.
- Compromise: In any relationship, compromise is important. Be willing to work together to find solutions that work for both of you.
- Offer support: Show your partner that you are there for them by offering emotional and practical support when they need it.
- Be patient: It’s important to be patient and understanding in a relationship, especially during challenging times. Practice forgiveness and empathy to help build a stronger bond.
I asked my husband for his hot take on how to show appreciation in relationships, and here is what he has to say to you all…
“relationships take effort and communication to thrive. By being open and understanding, you can show your partner that you appreciate them and create a deeper, more fulfilling connection.”
In conclusion, showing appreciation and reciprocating love and affection are key components of maintaining a healthy long-term relationship. By actively listening, spending quality time together, expressing gratitude, reciprocating love and affection, compromising, and having fun, you can truly appreciate your partner and create a strong and fulfilling bond that can last forever if you try!
