Let’s Talk About the “Nice Guys”
Being “too nice” is probably not your problem.
People sometimes tell me that I’m “too nice”.
I don’t agree.
I’ve got a list of ex-girlfriends who wouldn’t agree, either. I am not too nice. In fact, exes would probably say that I’m not nice enough, not a good enough listener, a bit self-absorbed, and many other equally valid complaints. I try to be kind, but unfortunately, I’ve also got a bit of a mean streak.
I’m working on it in therapy.
My problem has never been that I’m “too nice”. However, that is the problem for a lot of my friends. A lot of my friends are “nice guys”.
Or, at least, they’re guys who think they’re nice guys.
Self-proclaimed nice guys are a complicated bunch because some of them actually are nice guys. But some nice guys have flourishing dating lives and healthy relationships, and other nice guys “finish last”. Why?
The solution to the “nice guys finish last” problem is far more complicated than just getting them to clean up their rooms and log out of 4chan. If you want to be nice without “finishing last”, you don’t have to turn yourself into some obnoxious alpha-male with a Joe Rogan tattoo, you just have to stop lying to yourself and the world. You have to…
