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Major Drama is Super Easy to Avoid
Four reasons a conflict escalates unnecessarily.
In most cases, conflict is extremely easy to resolve without it blowing out of control. The main reason conflict will escalate is in one of these cases.
Words or feelings are being dismissed
During a fight, people will say a lot of things… what they think, how they feel, and how they interpret the situation. The other person needs to hear and respond to all of these things.
I had an ex who responded to anything I said by defending himself. It didn’t matter that I was deeply hurt — what mattered to him was proving that he wasn’t the bad guy who did anything wrong.
He couldn’t ever acknowledge that he had failed me, disrespected me, neglected me, or mishandled any situation.
Or maybe he did recognize it — but couldn’t bring himself to say it to me. He didn’t want to admit his failures and, instead, figured if I could just “let it go,” he would make a mental note to do better next time.
But I needed to hear it. I needed to know that he took my hurt and pain seriously, respected me enough to admit that he mishandled the situation, and valued me enough to apologize and make things right between us.
