Marriage Counselling with a Narcissist
Insights from the Narcissist’s confidante.
With abusive relationships, there seems to be a common agreement amongst therapists: Marriage counselling might be the worst form of therapy. One of the reasons is because it focuses on the couple and the challenges between the individuals — but in an abuse situation, the problem really is with the individual, the abuser. Furthermore, it assumes there are two equal individuals in the relationship who both want to work on reconnecting with one another. However, a Narcissist sees themself as superior, their feelings are all that matter and they generally have no empathy or interest in changing.
Throughout my 1-1/2 year relationship with a Narcissist, he attended weekly marriage counselling sessions with his wife. Although I cannot know what really went on in those sessions, I can tell you his side of the story, the things he told me and how he felt about them. With everything I know about him now, I can look back and see how he used the counselling to his own advantage.
Why did he go in the first place?
Initially, when he left his wife, he didn’t leave any room for discussion. “I have fallen out of love, I think it’s best if I leave”. Two days later he had packed all his belongings and moved in with his parents…
