Men Can be “Needy” and Still Attract Hot Women Like Rockstars
Pickup artists will hate this.
I was anxious as hell in my early twenties. I couldn’t talk to a girl without stuttering. Everything I learned from books and Youtube videos messed with my mind.
“Should I say this, or that? And what about that routine? Should I say it now, or later?”
It was a shitshow. I was playing those stupid value games in my mind. Worse of all, I was afraid of coming off as needy. And it was killing me.
(read all the life lessons I learned in my free ebook)
They teach us not to be needy
Men who’re into self-help will say you shouldn’t seek validation. “Don’t be needy, bruh!”.
The entire pickup and dating industry tells guys, “Be a man. You can’t be needy”. Then they make videos called “How to make every girl chase” or “Keys to getting laid”.
That content makes you so outcome dependent, neediness is the only thing you’ll get out of it.
It’s machoism and marketing wrapped up as self-improvement. The industry knows how to portray themselves as perfect, the guys who get laid every time. Some of these coaches seem perfect, so not needy; they never fail.
Girls chase them all day. The hottest women fall to their feet without saying a word. Women can’t say no to them. Zero neediness is running through their veins!
Sure.
Your need for validation is ok
The need for validation is natural. It’s part of being human. I’d be worried if I HADN’T felt things like neediness or anxiety.
We want to know we’re appreciated at work, in relationships, with family, in our creative pursuits, and more. Without positive feedback, you’ll lose motivation to keep doing most of these things.
And What’s the point, anyway? If you’re doing your best at work but no one appreciates it, that sucks. If you’re in a new relationship and your mate doesn’t feel the same, it’s pointless. Even if you don’t expect much, you still need some validation.
Meanwhile, at the bar
Your average pickup guy is worried about all that bullshit, he’s nervous. And girls see that. Meanwhile, some knucklehead who doesn’t give a damn about coming off as needy gets all the women.
He couldn’t care less. He goes for what he wants, and, whatever happens, happens. He doesn’t over-analyze. He doesn’t think, “Oh, I messed up. I haven’t done this or that technique the right way. I should go home or learn”.
None of that crap. He feels some “neediness” or self-doubt but doesn’t make a big deal out of it. It’s like a pebble in his shoe.
When the need for validation turns into poison
The real problem starts when you base your entire self-esteem on external validation. Then you’re “needy”. Because your opinion of yourself is based on others.
You wouldn’t think highly of yourself without approval from others.
It gets out of hand. And that’s when guys go out of their way to impress others. They overcompensate for lack of fullness.
Then they might put on different facades like “pickup artist” or shit like that. Try to make themselves appear something they’re not because they don’t feel good enough about themselves.
I’ve seen it happens many times. Especially with guys who try to get laid all year, without doing anything else. They don’t work on their careers or go to the gym. Zero habits. They got nothing going on for themselves.
Times turn them into some kind of grown-up kids.
Let yourself be needy if you have to
Don’t fight your feelings. Whatever your resist- you persist. Accept you’ll be a bit needy. Don’t make a big deal out of it. The more I failed with women, the less I cared about the final result. It taught me I can’t control people.
Your subconscious slowly adapts. And your neediness auto-corrects itself with time. You build more confidence, and your feelings find some kind of equilibrium when you move through life’s challenges.
Let go of all the outcomes that you seek. Whether you want sex, a relationship, or even to start a family. Assume it’ll happen as long as you keep trying.
Then, women will start to notice that. You’ll go out with them because you want to, not because you need to or must prove something to yourself. And that’s attractive.
You’ll stand out from most of the guys she’ll meet.
Conclusion
We all can feel needy at times. That’s natural, so don’t make a problem out of it. Do not resist. Instead, men should build a life they’re proud of- something they’ll happily share with the women they meet. Then your neediness starts to fade.
Bit by bit, it reduces to a minimum and doesn’t bother you anymore. You go out with women because it’s fun, and they are part of the life you like living.
Get my free ebook “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women”
