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My Relationship with My Mother Is More than Toxic — but I’m Grateful for It
There’s a reason why I don’t want to get closer to her…
“If you take off your hijab, I no longer want you as my daughter” — she told me while crying. Despite her tantrums and emotional manipulation, I still took it off.
As expected, she didn’t talk to me for months. It took years to rekindle our relationship. I had resentment over her controlling behaviour and she was disappointed that I didn’t listen to her.
She always thinks she knows what’s best for me. In some areas of my life, that might be true — but not all. As I grew older, I started to understand that just like me, my mother is also someone who’s still trying to figure out her life.
Asian kids who grew up with controlling parents would understand this more. In my case, my mother, for the most part, is a single mother. Her three marriages ended sooner than we anticipated. But I guess it’s no problem since she got so used to raising me and my brothers alone.
Her focus has always been on her kids. And this is how all the problems started.
A study on Maternal Control and Sensitivity, Child Gender, and Maternal Education shows:
“When maternal behaviours that emphasize…
