Narcissistic Lies Are Like Rats

For every one you see, there are 100 that you don’t see.

Photo credit: iStock

By Ann Betz

I met the narcissist on Tinder. He posted his age as 59, and I as I was 53 at the time, this seemed fine — I wasn’t interested in dating someone very much older than me. He looked young, and I had no reason to doubt this. Fast forward a couple of weeks when I asked him what his birthdate was so I could play with a little numerology.

His response was “Oh, here we go!” as he rolled his eyes.

“What?” I innocently replied.

“The age thing,” he said, and told me his birthdate, which made him ten years older than the 59 he had claimed. When I asked him why he had lied, he said “Well, you wouldn’t have dated me if I put my real age on my profile.”

Well, there is a reason for that, I thought, but at that point I was already smitten (see my note about oxytocin below) and it was too late. I didn’t realize the truth of the adage that lies are like rats or cockroaches: for every one you see, there are 100 you don’t see. And boy oh hoy, did this turn out to be true. As it is with so many of his type.

Narcissists and other toxic personalities are classically good at lying, which brings up a couple of questions. One, why do they lie, and two, how…