On Unconditional Love
Why conditions might be a vital part of true romance.
Unconditional love isn’t love. It’s a fantasy. It makes no sense and it’s toxic.
The idea of unconditional love sounds magical. You find your soulmate, they see your truest inner self, and they love you no matter what. The fact that they truly get you allows them to always find the good in you. Your deeper self, they insist, is pure. From there, they love you no matter what.
No wonder we all clamor to find such a love. There is so much in the world that tells us we are broken. Often times, we even judge ourselves to be flawed. It sounds absolutely wonderful to have complete and total acceptance in the eyes of a lover. What freedom that would bring!
But there is a sinister consequence of such ideas.
Who is being accepted unconditionally?
When we stop and look at the self, we find, at best, very temporary stability and, at worst, complete contingency. The self doesn’t seem to be a particularly consistent entity. Think of yourself from six months ago (a relatively short time). Are you not different now than you were back then? Have you not had some shift in perspective or adoption of habit change you?
