Online Dating: Is He Into Me or Not?

Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold

Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

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Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

Hey Wendy,

I’m dating (again) and here’s what’s happening over and over:

Scenario: We start writing online, I reply with a short but personalized note and ask an open-ended question to make it easy to keep the convo going. He replies with a short answer to my question but has no launching off point for continued conversation or any follow-up question(s) for me.

I reply with “Oh that’s great” or “Sounds fun/delicious/entertaining/…” and leave it there and usually, he doesn’t reply or does reply with a similarly non-stimulating short reply. My general approach has been, “He’s not really that interested.” And I let it go.

One of my (married) male friends gave me his opinion, which was “You should interpret any reply as interest, especially if he took the energy to answer your question.”

Since then, I’ve tried keeping it going… but I’ve found when I take this approach I feel weighed down.

Any thoughts, reframes, or approaches that can keep it fun and have me not feeling like the steam engine generating the conversation?

xoxo
Paisley L.

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Wendy Newman
Hello, Love

Dating, Sex & Relationship Expert and Author of 121 First Dates (Simon & Schuster). Over 80,000 women trust Wendy’s advice, tools, & experience. WendySpeaks.com