Ripping Up the Script as a Sexy, Seated Man With Disabilities
I’m learning that to get what I want, I need to stop giving so many instructions and let you discover me.
Editor’s note: all slang used below is in the author’s own words as a disabled writer. We left it intact to preserve his voice. Thank you for your understanding.
One of the first articles that I ever wrote, “Why Sex with a Person with a Disability is the Best Sex You Could be Having,” talked about the importance of something that I had proudly coined “storyboarding your sex.” Ultimately, what I had suggested was that if you sit and talk about the realities of sex and disability with your prospective partner, the surprises of disability will not seem so scary to them.
I agree that ‘storyboarding’ can be used as a tool to encourage conversation in this often under-discussed subject area. Until VERY recently, I had convinced myself that this was the only way to have sex as a man with disabilities; that everything must be laid out and discussed, dismantled and deconstructed. I craved this sense of control. It made me feel good, because if I followed every step perfectly, I would have the kind of sexual experiences my peers were having, or so I thought. I also felt that…
