She Lives 2,539 Miles Away

A dedication to one of the greatest loves of my life.

I’ve known Abigail since I was 20. We were working at the Olive Garden together as servers in Ohio.

One of my earliest memories of her was when I was sitting down in the booth in the far back of the restaurant. I was just minding my business and resting my feet up when in walks this smiling brunette in uniform, matching me.

She slid across from me in the booth and held up a ramekin of ranch dressing.

That’s right, ranch. The stuff you use to dip carrots in.

“Give me a dollar and I’ll drink this,” she said to me.

I remember just laughing in response.

“Sucker! I’d do it for free!”

And then she drank it! Slurped the whole thing right up!

I felt really overwhelmed, to be honest. Not because she just drank salad dressing in front of me (out of nowhere) but because up until that very moment, I was lonely.

Now, I didn’t think of myself as a sad person back then. In fact, most people described me as bubbly and always smiling, but honestly, I felt very much alone even when I was surrounded by people. I was even in a serious relationship at that time but I still felt somewhat detached.

Until Abby.

With her, it suddenly wasn’t a lonely road anymore.

Abby would randomly tell me stories about her own past that one would usually not tell another human being out loud… I mean, two of her stories had to do with queasy stomachs and bathroom horrors! They were epic.

Man, she knew how to make me laugh.

I remember the night we closed the restaurant down together and just sat in her car watching Saturday Night Live sketches on YouTube. Nobody loved SNL as much as the two of us. We were parked outside in the restaurant parking lot until 5 in the morning, laughing our heads off!

Our friendship wasn’t made up of only laughter though.

When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend of one year (who I was living with) broke up with me. He didn’t want to have anything to do with me or the baby. Devastated, I fell apart.

And Abby was there to pick up the pieces.

All of my belongings were in garbage bags, stacked tightly in my car when she had me move in with her. I stayed with her for months until I was able to get my own place.

On that first day staying at her apartment, I remember being so hungry and craving broccoli. We made some, sat at her dining table, and cried together over the bowl of my green, steamed veggie. To this day, we call that time, or whenever we have an emotional conversation, our “broccoli moment”.

Adele’s album ‘25’ is burned into my brain because of Abby. I already loved Adele to begin with but on the day that Abby drove me around for hours in her car looking for a place to have my baby shower, she belted out the entire album.

It’s like having a soundtrack to a memory.

When I managed to save up enough for an apartment of my own, Abby moved me in and visited regularly. One time, she came to my doorstep bundled in purple throw blankets and carrying a box of a dozen donuts — none for me. The sight of her sitting on my sofa across from me, chowing down and chatting, brought me so much joy.

I struggled with being pregnant and trying to cope with the realization that I was going to be a single mom. Abby encouraged me and supported me. She assured me that I was going to be a strong, badass mom and that I didn’t need to have a man next to me to be one.

It also helped that she would voice how strongly she hated my ex for just throwing me and our baby away. To have someone feel that same anger that I was feeling… It was all the more comforting.

We rummaged through books at the library, trying to find a suitable name to give my daughter. We found it and I asked Abby to be my baby’s godmother.

As my due date came near, the anxiety of raising a baby alone hit me with full force. How was I going to take care of a newborn and bring home income at the same time?

I was terrified.

In the end, I made the decision to move back to California so that my family members could help me watch my baby while I worked.

Abby drove me to the airport.

We had a tearful goodbye as I recalled how time and time again, she was there for me. She provided me with guidance and support and never made me feel bad for burdening her or not giving as much as she was in our friendship.

That wasn’t ever an issue for her. She wasn’t giving to get anything in return.

It’s been a while since we last saw each other. We catch up when we can but not often since our lives are in different places now. Literally.

Not a day goes by though that I don’t wish Abby was just a car ride away. I often hope for the doorbell to ring and for it to be her standing there with her purple throws and a box of donuts.

5 years ago, my ex kicked me to the curb. From those pains, I learned that boyfriends/girlfriends can leave you anytime but your best friend, the real love of your life, will always stay with you even when they can’t physically be around.

She told me recently that when she’s feeling down, she’ll look at our BitMoji characters interacting on Snapchat doing things, like riding in a car or being outside. It helps her imagine that we’re actually doing these things together.

We miss each other every day but we know that we can always communicate no matter what.

One of these days, when life isn’t throwing us curveballs with kids, jobs, or a global pandemic, we’ll be able to catch a plane and reunite.

One of these days.

Abigail helped me move forward and grow as a person. We’ve built an amazing friendship that hasn’t deterred even despite the distance or different phases of our lives.

My appreciation and love for my best friend will last a lifetime from miles away.