Should You Change for Love?
Understanding your preferences and deal-breakers as you date.
Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold
Hey Wendy,
Where we live came up on a first date recently. My date said that he could never live anywhere other than a big city.
Now, he was aware that I live in a small town one hour from the city.
His comment really got me off on the wrong foot and I must say it bothered me for the rest of the date. I felt he was basically saying “I’m not prepared to move anywhere, so you would have to be the one to move”.
Living in the city away from my family and friends is not what I really want, but it’s not a deal-breaker and I would definitely do it for love. I guess what bothered me is that it felt like he didn’t have the same attitude and I wondered whether maybe he’s stubborn and uncompromising.
Or maybe it’s a deal-breaker for him and he just wanted to get it out there. Or alternatively, it was an off-the-cuff comment that maybe could change down the track if he fell in love. Regardless, this comment so early on in our first date has stuck with me.
I’m not even sure how I feel about this guy, but I’m interested to hear your thoughts on his comment.
