Soulmate. A Con.

Not the idea. But the likelihood of occurrence.

Vardan G Maadala
Hello, Love
2 min readMay 16, 2020

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Apologies for the provocative title. But I hope you know how terribly hard it is to get one’s attention in today’s world without challenging either their thoughts, beliefs or perceived truth. Appeasing is easy after all. Challenging isn’t. But hey, that’s OK; I am happy to bear the brunt of your anger than to welcome the warmth of your surrender. For, anger too can be liberating.

As I pondered over the myriad of possible topics to write about for my first blog, it became increasingly obvious that it had to be about love and seeking. As cheesy and easy as that might sound for a blog, it is still true that all the writers and bloggers in the world, together, cannot ever sufficiently explain it. And the some of us, adventurous and battered souls, who not just experienced it but explored the depths of it can say with some amount of confidence that: To fall in love — with her, him, them, and oneself — is all there is to know.

(More about this in future blogs ;)….)

This in fact led me to not talk about love in this blog, but instead call out, arguably, the most glorified idea of love — Soulmate. My confusion or objection about it is rather simple: How can we ever find a Soulmate when we haven’t even found our Soul yet?….You can’t drive a Toyota and call yourself a racer. You could probably call yourself a racing enthusiast and get away with it. Similarly, it’s alright to be a soulmate enthusiast. But to seek a soulmate without seeking your own self is like chasing a mirage. For you’re always looking for perfection outside of you rather than embracing (and evolving) the imperfections within you.

Now, if you’re clueless what soul is, as I am sometimes, I’d suggest that we abandon the idea of a soulmate right here, right now, forever. Find a mate. Go on a date. All is well, if it goes great.

As non-spiritual as that might sound, it’s at least the more rational thing to do. Neither the wildly spiritual nor the freakishly rational trouble me, for I believe they still make some progress in the pursuit of self. But it is the incessantly delusional that worry me, for they are likely unaware of what they “single-mindedly” seek: they are often neither content with what they already have nor doggedly pursue what they want to have.

They say it’s better to be either a passionate believer or a dispassionate non-believer than be neither. And no matter who I am, I’d be a seeker and march on, and let it come to me: mate, soul, soul mate, or whatever there is to know and revel in…

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Vardan G Maadala
Hello, Love

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