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Stop Compromising and Improve Your Relationship
The key to successful conflict resolution is to do three things.
I often hear couples talking about compromise as the key to resolving conflict in their relationships. Those same couples often end up disappointed that their efforts to compromise don’t seem to resolve the conflict in their relationships. They often blame their partner for not doing his or her share rather than questioning the wisdom of the underlying compromise strategy.
Let me give you an everyday example. It is common for couples to have differences about how they like to sleep. One likes a firmer mattress, and the other prefers a softer mattress, or one likes it cooler in the bedroom while the other likes it warmer. No surprise people are different. What are the odds that two people who decide to live together will like everything the same way? A compromise might mean that they buy a mattress of medium firmness or set the temperature somewhere between where they each like it. While it is commendable that each person is at least recognizing their partner’s needs and making an effort to accommodate them, their compromise is likely to result in neither one of them getting a good night’s sleep.
What’s the alternative? The key to successful conflict resolution is to do three things: