Stop Over-Apologizing!
It’s hurting your relationship.
“I’m sorry.”
Some of us rarely say it. Others say it all the time.
In a previous article, I outlined four different types of apologies to use in relationships. This article focuses on an element that is rarely addressed in relationships: overapologizing.
You might be surprised but it is possible to apologize too much. And over-apologizing (OA) has damaging effects on relationships.
What is over-apologizing?
Theoretically you could apologize for every little thing you do wrong to your partner. OA is expressing remorse for things that you don’t really need to say “sorry” for: “Sorry the toast isn’t ready yet.” “Sorry for not putting sugar in your coffee.” “Sorry for not packing more sandwiches.”
How do you know it’s overapologizing?
I’ve noticed that partners usually implicitly know when they’re overapologizing. It’s usually about small actions that really didn’t harm or upset your partner. People who OA tend to express it in a tense manner, occasionally even repeating the apology several times in the same conversation.
An apology casts partners into aggressor and the wronged. Usually the person who apologizes has done something bad…
