The Drama Triangle: Are You a Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor?
When we think of love triangles, it’s usually about two people who are vying for the love of the same person. Or maybe we think more psychological and recall Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which states that in order to have consummate love, a couple needs intimacy, passion and commitment.
The relational triad we’re about to go into predates Sternberg’s theory by almost twenty years. Psychiatrist Steven Karpman developed the “drama triangle” to map conflict within interpersonal relationships.
He realized that conflict needs players but each player must have a role. In his research, he consistently found three archetypes in relational conflict: the victim, rescuer and persecutor.
The Victim
To be clear, the “victim” in this context is not someone who experienced an infringement on their rights or experienced a crime.
This is someone who feels oppressed and powerless to change their circumstances. They shame themselves for their inability to have what they want or to do what others can. Ultimately, they want to be taken care of.
They subconsciously seek a rescuer to come in and save them from their inadequacy, but they also subconsciously want a persecutor to remind them that they’re useless. Both the…
