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Men Beware: The “Great Divorce” Is Here

9 min readJul 20, 2023

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Photo by Volha Flaxeco on Unsplash

I got divorced in 2018 for many reasons, but unequal division of labor was a top one. You might think me petty. You might also think, Why on earth would you leave a man who loved you and was faithful to you because he didn’t help with the kids or around the house? But in doing so, you’d also be part of the problem.

You see just by using the word “help” in regards to housework or childcare means you assume that housework and childcare are a duty or obligation that I, a woman, should be taking on solely, that my gender automatically assigns me certain tasks and responsibilities at 100%, and you, a man, at 0%. So your “contributions” (whatever they may be) are a gift, a compliment, not to be expected but celebrated when they are.

My ex-husband, to many people, was a “great” father, and in comparison to other men, men who didn’t and don’t take active roles in the care of their children, he would be. It’s easy to seem “great” when the bar is on the floor. You’d seem “great” if you took your children to the playground every once in a while. If you fed them meals. If you gave them a bath.

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Hello, Love
Hello, Love
Tara Blair Ball
Tara Blair Ball

Written by Tara Blair Ball

Certified Relationship Coach, Author, and Podcast Co-host for Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. https://beacons.page/tara.relationshipcoach