The Importance of Being Authentic: Giving Yourself Permission to Love Yourself First
Why do we value others more than we love ourselves?
By Dyanne Brown
Growing up, in our families and in our daily lives, we learned what parts of ourselves were acceptable to other people.
Certain behaviors are valued while others are not. There is a time and place for everything. It’s okay to cry at a funeral, but not okay to cry because you lost a game (even if it was disappointing to you).
Through correction, we learn what others expect of us in mixed settings. We learned what is rewarded.
And it is hardly being exactly who we are or what we feel in the moment.
We learn how to suppress our thoughts, emotions, and desires in exchange for acceptance by the tribe which consists of our peers, loved ones, and future bosses.
There is a biological component because when resources were limited, being shunned by the tribe could mean certain death. The only survival mechanism was to remain in the group and embrace the culture. Now, you can be self-sufficient without needing the tribe, but we still experience the fear of ostracism.
