The Law of Attraction Helped Me Find a Better Relationship
Changing my mindset changed my life.
Dating can be a vicious cycle. Our experiences with our partners and how they treat us can change how we see ourselves, affecting us even after the breakup.
According to researchers Lauren Howe and Carol Dweck at Stanford University, our self-image comes largely from how others view us. If we have a fixed mindset, we’re more likely to see those qualities they “assign” to us as irrevocable; we feel like our partner broke up with us because we did something wrong.
To make matters worse, people coming out of an unhealthy relationship in which their partner criticized them or made them feel inadequate may struggle even in healthy relationships because they’re having to change how they view themselves and deal with residual trauma.
They also may not even find themselves in healthy relationships after — chemical changes occur in our brain in which falling into one toxic relationship right after another is common.
When we feel loved, we feel extra serotonin and dopamine. And when our partner doesn’t give us that same love, we crave it. We become stuck an intermittent reinforcement cycle, and may feel like those toxic relationships are what we deserve, having experienced relationships in…
