“When men imagine a female uprising, they imagine a world in which women rule men as men have ruled women.” –Sally Kempton, “Meditation for the Love of It.”
Tom is a young man in his late 20s who is in his first serious relationship with Nancy. Ever since Nancy moved in, it seems to Tom that their relationship has changed a lot, and not to his liking. It almost feels like Nancy has taken over his apartment, and she has a hidden playbook somewhere that he can’t get access to. That playbook is filled with the details of how things are supposed to be done — the right way to load and unload the dishwasher, how to clean the tub after you take a shower, what gets washed with what and at what temperature, etc. All of these things seem a little silly to Tom; after all, he managed just fine on his own for years. Still, it’s nice to step into a clean tub when you shower or see the unwrinkled clothes that you folded and put away in the drawer. Tom is also surprised at how good it feels to have something concrete to do that is so pleasing to Nancy.
However, over time, what started out feeling like not much to ask for begins to feel increasingly burdensome, and he starts to feel resentful. Each time Tom starts to feel like he’s got it, he’s mastered the playbook and knows what’s expected of him, she comes up with another rule that, somehow, he was supposed to already know about…
