The Real Reason I Didn’t Have A Girlfriend For Over A Decade
Toxic masculinity has been poisoning me for years, and I’ll never be free of it.
My romantic life has been one of scarcity or abundance.
Today, I am part of the polyamorous community. I have an amazing partner, and also a large group of friends, some of whom I may or may not date in the future.
But it wasn’t always like that. I went nearly my entire teenage life without having a girlfriend. And even after that, I would have long periods between partners.
It’s only recently that I’ve fully realised why this was.
When I took my first steps into the dating world, I had a tremendous amount of success. I had multiple girlfriends, none of whom I felt any problem talking to.
Oh, to have the confidence of a 6-year-old.
Eventually, romance and dating took a side seat. If we skip forward 5 years, I’m 11 and having a girlfriend is the farthest thing from my mind. But wait another 5 years, and things are different. I’m 16, and now I very much care about having a girlfriend. But it seems that no one feels that way about me. I have crushes on people throughout my entire teens, of course. It’s just anyone I like either shows no interest in me or simply…
