The Red Flags You Missed Were the Ones You Were Taught to Ignore

pexels.com

How did I not see this coming?, you chant once again after yet another heartbreak.

But the truth is, you did.

You saw the red flags. You noticed the way your body tensed every time they made that joke, dismissed that concern, crossed that boundary just a little.

And you didn’t miss it.

You overrode it.

Because the red flags you ignore the most…

are the ones you were taught were normal.

You Were Raised to Call Dysfunction “Love”.

Let’s start here. Let’s start where it started.

If you grew up in chaos, you learned to make room for red flags the way people make room for furniture in a house: you adjust around.

You were trained to believe that:

• Control is care.
• Jealousy means love.
• Silence in conflict is strength.
• Apologies without change are still “trying.”

So when you met someone who gave you breadcrumbs of affection and a feast of confusion, you didn’t run.