The Third Party That Every Marriage Needs
Every couple needs a little external help — the power of The Third.
I was 29 years old and taking part in a three-day theater workshop. With me was a beautiful, married Italian theater teacher 20 years older than me. As a single looking for love in all the wrong places, I tried to woo her. For three whole days I flirted and tried to seduce her. It didn’t work. As the workshop came to a close, she turned to me and said:
“You’re really a wonderful man. I could easily fall in love with you. But I am married. I fall in love twice a week and take all that energy and channel it into my marriage.”
She said goodbye, walked away, and I never saw her again.
Twenty years later, I now understand what she meant. She was harnessing the power of The Third in her relationship.
What is “The Third”?
It is an illusion to expect our partner to fill all of our needs, fantasies, and desires. We all yearn to find our soul mate, the one, but even then they always fall short. One single person can’t possibly fill and meet all our needs all the time.
We have three options in dealing with our partners shortcomings:
- Give up on those unmet needs. Giving up on our…
