The Truth About Picking Up Girls (Dating Gurus Hide From Men)
Many men wish they could get that girl they see at work, Instagram, or the bar. But most of them don’t even try.
Any living, straight man in this world desires beautiful women. He wanted them since high school. The chemicals in his brain went crazy every time the neighbourhood's hottie passed by.
And he’ll continue to desire them everywhere he goes. Daily. College. Work. Parties. The coffee shop.
If the guy is single, the only thing he’ll think of is, “How the hell do I get her?”
The truth is, picking up girls can be tough. You have to deal with your anxieties, insecurities, not knowing what to say, and a million other things that cross your mind. You have to endure rejection and failure. Then you have to do it all over again.
There’s no “system” or “attraction methods” to get the girl every time. You’ll have to develop healthy self-trust regarding what to do next.
Some flashy YouTube videos show a guy picking up a girl in 30 seconds. But these scenarios are rare. And they don’t tell you the guy will never see the girl again most of the time. She won’t text him back or take his calls. Because you can’t build enough rapport that way (to be fair, I think most of these videos are fake anyway).
However, you can get the girls you want if you’re in the right headspace and willing to do the work. Dates, SeX, relationships, all that good stuff is possible.
Mastering the game
When I was twenty, I thought, “If I can crack this pickup thing and succeed with girls, I can do anything”. Twelve years later, it’s safe to say I “cracked” it.
I’m not Hugh Hefner, but I can create opportunities for myself whenever I wish. Either through the apps, cold approach or wherever I go. Here are the steps you can take to achieve the same:
1. Understand natural selection
I used to think 50% of this game is mental. I was wrong. It’s 99% mental. The rest falls into place when you do the work. You can’t attract every girl you meet. You can’t expect to go home with a girl every night. That’s just marketing bullshit coaches feed us with.
But you have to believe you’re the best option for the girl. Any other mindset falls short. You can’t think, “Me? Oh, I’m great. But that guy over there? He’s better”. A woman will go for the guy who BELIEVES he’s the best for her, whether it’s true or not.
Perception is reality.
2. Dress up
Clean clothes that fit will make you look ten times better. I should have done this earlier in my journey.
No crappy shoes. No saggy jeans with extra fabric at the bottom. Your clothes should fit your body well. Experiment with different colours and choose something you like. Then add accessories like a watch or sunglasses. Maybe a belt that pops out. Get this right, and you’re already ahead of the curve.
3. Go out and hit the apps
Go to a bar or a club you like once a week and install 2–3 dating apps. Spoiler: you won’t always know what to say. So do I sometimes.
So I say whatever comes to mind and go from there. I approach groups of girls and keep it light and simple. Funny. Sometimes idiotic. It breaks the ice.
I compliment or talk about the fantastic beer the bar serves and how the water tastes better after 2 AM. It gets a conversation going almost every time. If it doesn’t, I talk to the next group of girls.
4. Build a life you’re proud of
This game doesn’t work in a vacuum. If all you do through the week is talk to girls, you’ve made others the focus of your life. While you work to improve with girls, handle other things like career and hobbies. Learn skills you can capitalize on.
When you hit the bar on the weekend, you’ll share these experiences. Your anxieties won’t bother you much because going out and letting off steam would be something you wait for. Pure fun.
5. Comofort over attraciton
I wish I learned this earlier. Girls go out and sleep with men they feel comfortable around. Attraction is important, but it’s only a part. Once I shifted my mindset from attraction to comfort, everything became easier.
Girls courted me back. And things flowed. Show genuine interest in the girls you’re with. Make them feel appreciated. When a girl feels comfortable, that’s when the fun begins :)
5. Take the rejection and learn
You can’t skip this part. No man can. No matter how successful you think a man is, no one is above the game. Everyone gets rejected. Men and women alike. Some people will like you no matter what. Some people won’t like you, no matter what.
Girls rejected me countless times. After five years, it almost broke me. But then I stepped back and realized I was making the same mistakes repeatedly. I had to shake off all the bullshit dating advice, pick myself up once again, and go after what I wanted with new insights.
6. Sleep lift eat
You might wonder what fitness, diet and good sleep have to do with getting girls. The answer is everything. These three change the way you feel and how women feel towards you. A healthy, fit-looking guy full of energy will have a better chance than a slumped, overweight dude. That’s just the way it is.
So take care of yourself. Go to the gym or engage in other kinds of resistance training. Don’t watch Netflix till midnight, and go to bed at the same time every day. Trade McDonals’ cat meat for chicken breast and veggies. Thank yourself later.
7. Patience please
You change in micro shifts. That’s how you build character. The rejection makes you almost immune to failure. And the success you’ll have along the way pushes you to keep going. I’m not saying you must wait ten years to date a girl. But you’ll have to be patient with yourself. Changing your life can take time, but it’s worth it.
Final thoughts about the pickup game
A friend once told me, “If it were easy, everybody would do it”. Picking up girls can be tough, but it’s well worth it. Not only it’s fun, but it’s a necessary survival skill. You’ll fail, succeed, and make some more mistakes. That’s natural, so don’t worry about it. Years from now, you’ll look back and say, “Good job man”, and be proud of yourself.
Get my free ebook, “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected by Hundreds Of Women”
