This is Why They’re INSISTING to Pay For the Date
Believe it or not, But this may NOT actually be their fault.
Sometimes, I feel like there are so many movements in the wake of the internet & social awareness that people are overwhelmed.
Instead of taking a few calm minutes to understand everything, people are just running on emotions based on what truly “HITS” them (yeah, that usual baseless phrase — ‘and then it hit me’… LoL). Put this phrase in front of anything and tell me the outcome!
But now, it’s time…
… to deep dive into the mindsets of guys and girls to learn what really ticks them — so you can come out of your date with a happy ending or maybe a happy continuation. ;)
Are you with me?
Then let’s start!!
Disclaimer: I’m not ignoring the other genders, but it’s easy to explain if I just use ‘he & she’ (guy & girl). After all, it’s all about the mindset of the 2 people interested in each other.
Why do guys want to pay for the dates?
Since the dawn of mankind, guys are supposed to be the providers in households.
Although it‘s understandable for the era when hunting and agriculture were the only existing options. But now when the ways to earn are pretty much limitless, this need & mindset just doesn’t make any sense. It’s outdated.
And chivalry to me feels nothing more than a ‘dating game’ taught by the coaches of the old world.
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I’m not saying that chivalry is bad, but unless combined with respect, empathy, understanding, and a sense of freedom; chivalry is just another guide on ‘how to try to get the girl’…
… like imagine a guy who’s being so chivalrous… opening the doors and pulling the chairs for you, but isn’t letting you have any privacy or freedom of any kind. LoL
The second catalyst:
I’m sure the whole world in the early days was following the arrange marriage system where the kid doesn’t even get a say regardless of gender.
So, while personality was forced to hang behind the vehicle with a thin thread, the capability to earn… to provide… took the front seat.
Result:
Guys consider their ability to be a provider as their best tool to win the girls. Of course, when they aren’t financially stable, they lose all the hopes to win the girl of their dreams especially if you’re doing it through social media.
When a girl rejects their offer to pay for the date, the less-aware guys get confused. Their Ace card is deemed redundant. That’s all as a big strategy they were taught by everyone to win that shiny trophy called — GIRL.
Naturally, they’re going to feel frustrated and angry… and throw a fit on that innocent girl who just wanted to be charmed with personality.
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But if the guy turns out to be genuinely a bad person, then you don’t need to read further. Just find a way to leave the vicinity, honey.
Why do girls want to pay for the dates?
Girls want to feel empowered.
They studied hard, worked hard to earn every single dime in such oppressing world where girls are still treated like a commodity since birth. Naturally, they want to break the chain and feel the air of true freedom of choice at their heart.
Girls by offering to pay, also want to convey to the guy that they’re not here for free food or for time pass and that they’re certainly not taking that guy for granted.
Stand Against Toxic Stereotype
Guy’s Identity!
By doing this, a girl is asserting that the guy can’t win them by just showing the money — that they also need to show their personality, their mindset, their individuality — only then, they can think of having a chance of winning a strong girl like her.
Pseudo Feminists
It’s a possibility that you may be on a date with a pseudo-feminist who doesn’t have a proper understanding of feminism. Exchange of respect is not their primary goal. All they want (from my observation) is to feel superior — kinda a female version of those misogynistic men.
In such a case, you can’t win no matter what you do or how you do it.
So, if you get pseudo-feminist vibes from your date — Run Guy, RUN!
Entitled Princess
Of course, some girls feel entitled to be offered everything on the platter for free simply because of their gender. It’s not totally their fault as they’re also brainwashed and influenced by their society and surroundings.
Look,
Some of them would at least behave decently while some will be pure arrogant. Either way, it’s not good in the long-term aspect.
So, it’s better to leave in time.
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And that’s why I advocate for planning a non-expensive date. This also greatly helps in finding the real gem of girls!
Takeaways
Before judging a person on their decision to pay or not to pay or to split the bills, you shall see where they’re coming from.
Then try connecting to that part of them and try to educate them about how things are and why it matters to you.
In this post, I explained the 3 possible scenarios and how to settle this ‘who shall pay for the date’ dispute without hurting either of you.
See if you can come to a mutual agreement where both of you can be truly happy without doing any major compromise.
Maybe they’ll understand, maybe they won’t.
But isn’t that the dating… figuring out if a person is a right fit for you… without needing to judge anyone?
Tell me what you think in the comments below! And YES, I will reply to you, haha.
